Dear Diary, I’m a grownup now.

Being a parent, as most parents know.. is the most difficult, often thankless, yet most satisfying and rewarding jobs we can hold in our lives. Day in and day out, as a mom you wake up and all your focus goes to your children. If you’re anything like me, the kids are bathed, teeth are pearly white, outfits are super fresh and tummies are full before you even remember that you too might have to brush your teeth and possibly get some pants on.

When did this happen?

I remember so vividly being in middle school, laying up on my twin bed – thinking – What is my life going to be like? Will I have a husband?

How many kids will I have?

I’m sure I will have a little girl and name her Emily. (I loved that name, it totally didn’t happen though)

Fast forward a few years. I have a handsome husband, and get blessed with my first child, Kali. I didn’t give him the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of him. Imagine that. 19 years old, madly in love with a man with a child. Does that make me a mom? Already? At 19? You bet-cha! Looking back, the author couldn’t have written the story of my life more perfectly. I am able to co-parent with his mother, and have grown an amazing relationship with her throughout the years. Kali is not a product of a “Broken Home” he is a product of one BIG happy home. Where all THREE of his parents love him and care for him so very much.

Age: 21. Keilani. I guess Emily didn’t stick 10 years later, but I was finally a mother. Wow. I had a baby. I was single handedly responsible to be the mother for this tiny little human.

You are the smartest, most nurturing little girl. But you’re still my baby girl. I want you to know that you don’t have to wear makeup because the older girls do it, Barbies are cool, and I LOVE the way you build me cool bridges with your blocks. I enjoy your random sprints down the hall to your room, and seeing you come back out in a full tutu, wings and princess heels. I will never get tired of having “Chocolate milk” tea parties, and reading books before bed. You’re supposed to be my baby girl. Don’t you ever grow up, won’t you stay this little. (Tay Swift voice) I am your favorite person, and you have no problem telling me so. every. single. day. This never gets old. I pray that I will always be your favorite person. That you will always turn to me when you’re happy, sad, mad. I pray that our relationship only gets stronger with time, and that your teenage years will bring you closer, not further. I promise to work on being a balanced and fair mother and friend. I love you Princess Keilani.

Age: 25. Kaleb. My boy. My love. My flirt. Life is complete with you in it. For many years I thought.. how is it even possible to love another baby? Will this change my relationship with Kahlil or Keilani? Will we grow apart? Truth is… My heart is just bigger now that you’ve come along. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I vowed to make this pregnancy the best for you. The choice to have a home birth was almost a no brainer after watching “The Business of Being Born”. The connection I felt with you is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. So raw, so powerful that once you finally came into this world *Feb 19th I was over the moon. This is it. You’re here. My very own baby boy. I couldn’t begin to describe the joy and peace you bring to my life. If ever I had a mission to accomplish in life, having you felt like mission complete.

 

So to the person who sees me in the grocery store with three kids, Yes- They’re all mine. . & no, your opinion on the amount of children I have is not any of my concern. I love my kids, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

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